Sarah in Wonderland

Musings...

A Nigerian, a Mozambican and a South African are sitting in a Soweto tavern having a pint of beer.

The Nigerian grabs his beer, downs it, throws his glass into the air, draws a pistol and shoots the glass in mid-air.  He  shouts: "In Nigeria we have so many glasses we never drink out of the same glass twice!"

 The Mozambican downs his beer, throws his glass into the air, grabs the gun off the bar, shoots the glass, puts the gun back on the bar and says: "Heela, in Mozambique we have so much sand which makes glass really cheap, so we too never drink out of the same glass twice!"

The South African finishes his beer, puts the glass down on the bar, picks up the gun, shoots both the Nigerian and the Mozambican and says to the barman: "In South Africa we have so many Nigerians and Mozambicans that we never have to drink with the same guys twice!"

 Yep, a little South African zenophobic humour.  The people I know and work with are as appalled as the rest of the world at what happened (continues to happen in pockets) a couple weeks ago.  It was much more wide-spread than news reports had it.  My friends in villages reported incidents to me and there were several incidents in and around Mafikeng.  The crimes were against other Africans, not whites…this time…so I was not in any danger.  Sixty-two were killed and hundreds of thousands were chased from their homes.  Most went back to their homes of origin; others are in camps hoping to someday be resettled in their old neighborhoods. 

Those in poverty are very, very angry.  Many promises were made to them in 1994, at the time of the transition to democracy, and they feel they have gotten nothing.  Below is a political cartoon from after the worst of the violence. It shows a government representative feeding a refugee while saying "you should be ashamed of yourself" to a starving South African.

 

In actuality, the government has provided electricity and water to most areas, though many rural areas remain without water, requiring the women to walk for miles, frequently, and carry the water home in buckets on their heads or in a wheelbarrow, though you usually see men using the wheelbarrows.  The major zenophobic attacks, however, took place in townships outside the large cities, where there is electricity and water.  However, when you have been promised a house and you need a job and food and energy prices keep climbing, you become a very volatile individual.  This is a very precarious time for this young democracy and it is very easy to pick it apart.  There is so much that screams out for change but you would have to be here for some time to truly understand how complicated the situation is. 

Thabo Mbeki (the president) has made lots of mistakes but he has a cool head, one of his weaknesses in this current mileau.  His nemesis, the current head of the ruling party, Jacob Zuma, is hot headed, uneducated and charismatic and has major appeal to the youth and poverty-stricken, in particular.  They are expecting to be better taken care of.  Most black youth are poorly educated and unemployed; most whites continue to do pretty well.  There is a large black middle class, I’m told, around Joburg, but I sure don’t see it here.  It’s very frustrating to try to think this through because it is so very complicated and so multi-layered and, sometimes, so incomprehensible to the Western mind.  I am currently reading Jonny Steinberg’s book “The Three Letter Plague” and it explains, as well as anything I’ve read, the concept of the stigma which keeps South African's from testing for HIV.  It explains it, I’ve read it, I understand the words but I  still don’t truly understand why one would choose dying in solitude to living on ARVs.  That said, I recommend it to anyone grappling with AIDS in Africa.  It is a South African book but you should be able to get it in your library.

 And me, what am I doing besides being frustrated?  I’m still at Age-in-Action, still waiting to see if the situation changes for the better, still weighing my options.  We’ve been very busy with World Elder Abuse Awareness Day, June 15, but celebrated throughout the month in the various cities.  We were in Potchefstroom for our event last week and yesterday was Fochville.  I was to go to Fochville with Dineo but Mary Jane called me at the last minute and asked me to stay in the office.  Today, the march is in Vryburg and I was to go but I cancelled out because I just can’t get up at 5AM anymore.  Earlier in the month, I attended another wedding, not large, but quite lovely in Tsetse, a village north of here.  We also presented a creche there with hand-made dolls for each child.  What great fun that was.  More than half the children are orphans and many have no toys at all.  Lots of excitement and tears.

Hopefully, my friend, Dot, will be back from the states, where she has been with her mother, who is at the end of her life, in time for our trip. We plan to leave Mafikeng on the 27^th  to Pretoria, fly to Victoria Falls on the 28^th and take our camping trip through Botswana and eastern South Africa from the 29^th to the 10^th of July.  We are going to Chobe National Park and Okavanga Delta in Botswana and then to Kruger Park in South Africa.  Since neither of us has been to Kruger we decided to stay with the tour throughout, even though it takes us clear across the country from Mafikeng.  What the heck, we couldn’t get a refund (we tried) if we went straight home from Maun (Okavanga Delta), and we haven’t seen Kruger so we might as well go.  If Dot doesn’t make it back, I will go on my own since it is an organized tour.  I would actually meet more people if I were to travel alone, but it could get rather lonely.  Besides, I’m counting on Dot to help me with the camping as I’ve never really camped before!  So this will be a real adventure.  It will be particularly interesting to see how my back holds up after sleeping on the ground all those days.  In the Okavanga Delta we will be sleeping outside, no tent, under the stars.  I’m so excited about that I can hardly bear it!  All those stars right over my head!!! 

By the way, I gave up on Windows Vista, took it off my computer and loaded XP; my computer is behaving much more normally now.  It is just not powerful enough for Vista!

Some South African Humour

WHY I NEVER VISIT RICH PEOPLE

Question: "What would you like to drink ... fruit juice, soda,
tea,milo, chocolate, or coffee?"

Answer: "Tea please"

Question: Ceylon tea, herbal tea, bush tea, honey bush tea, ice tea or
green tea?"

Answer: " Ceylon tea please"

Question: "How would you like it? Black or white?"

Answer: "White please"

Question: "Milk, whitener, or condensed milk?"
Answer: "Milk please "

Question: "Goat milk, camel milk or cow milk?"

Answer: "Cow milk please."

Question: "Milk from Freezeland or Afrikaner cow?"

Answer : " Afrikaner cow please."

Question: " Warm or cold?"

Answer: "Warm please."

Question: "Full cream, low fat or fat free?"

Answer: "Umm .. I'll rather take it black please."

Question: "Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?"
Answer: "With sugar please."

Question: "Beet sugar or cane sugar?"

Answer: "Cane sugar please."

Question: "White, brown or yellow sugar?"

Answer: "Just forget about the tea. I'll have a glass of water instead
please."

Question: "Mineral or still water ? "

Answer: "Mineral water please."

Question: "Flavoured or non-flavoured ?"

Answer:"Hey futsek mann! Just get me water from the river... I don't
wanna know
which river, and stop asking me too many questions. NXA!

The Drama Continues

Just a week after my last entry, my laptop was stolen through my window from my bedroom.  I have bars on my windows and had a computer lock on the laptop, however, it was taken.  The police came and took fingerprints and a statement but gave me no hope of ever seeing it again.  C'est la vie, but I do miss the pictures.  Unfortunately, I haven't backed them up since I got here so those I've put on here are the only ones I have from the last two years.  Fortunately, the memories are all in my head!

A week later, I bought a new (cheap) laptop and had it loaded with the necessary software (I HATE Windows Vista...it is just too big and slow to load and too much stuff I just don't want or need, but I suppose I'll get used to it just as I have every other upgrade).  So far, so good, but I haven't been able to load Skype or the camera/mike I bought to use with it.  In addition, I can't play American DVDs until I get some sort of unscrambler, but, aside from that, I'm up and going again.  My newest pastime is jigsaw and crossword puzzles on it.  Keeps me out of trouble and my hope is that it will keep my brain from dying.  This period of my life reminds me of when I stayed home with my children when they were small and worried daily that my brain was shriveling up and blowing away.  At that time, I read every magazine I could get my hands on...Saturday Review, Harpers, Atlantic, Mother Jones, from cover to cover.  So much for mothering!  Now, I have the advantage of a computer to help, but can't get my hands on decent magazines, so I read lots and lots of books.  Ah, well, I guess if the brain wants to go, it will, but I will fight it every inch of the way.

My posting with Age-in-Action continues to be difficult.  I have talked at length with Peace Corps about how to make it work and am hopeful that it can be done.  I have been waiting for over a week to talk to Mary Jane, my executive director, about the necessary changes to my work week but she has been out sick or on leave ever since it became clear to her that change is in the air.  She loves just having me here to answer her phone and do her occassional typing; it is a power and status thing.  I'm bored to tears most days, however, the cause (I think and hope) of my sense of a dying brain.  The struggle continues.  I am exploring transferring to another country at the end of my two years here rather than staying on here, though I still keep thinking I can make it work (my stubborn or, maybe my PollyAnna, aspect).  We'll see what happens.

In the meantime, I went to Pretoria again and saw the audiologist who adjusted my hearing aids and now I am going to try to wear them daily for the next month so my "brain can get used to them".  God, I'm demanding a lot of my poor little brain right now!  This weekend, I'm  attending a wedding in a village near here for a gal who used to intern at Age-in-Action.  I'm looking forward to it as yet another opportunity to wear my red dress!  Will be going with my friend, Wanda, and some friends of her's who are visiting her from the U.S.  The amazing part is that she lives in the village where the wedding is being held!  How much of a coincidence is that?  Well...it is really a coincidence as there are hundreds of villages all around Mafikeng.

The weekend before last, I went to visit a couple of twenty-something friends in Setlogole (Set-le-hole-le), which is about an hour west of here and is another world.  They are both in true villages and it is so laid back and so easy and was a wonderful interlude for me.  Erin, where we stayed, has no running water or refrigeration so it was what I think of as "real Peace Corps".  Had a wonderful time with lots of very stimulating conversation...and exercise.  We walked for miles as there is no alternative transportation.  I plan to go back often.  It was just what I needed; let's hear it for good conversation!

I'll try to be better about blogging.  It has been very difficult for me lately but I am able to recognize the good that comes from adversity and am working hard to stay positive.  I've already been forced to look at some of the less wonderful parts of my personality and I keep trying to change.  I doubt that it is noticible to anyone but me, but I'm trying! 

In a funk!

I think every day I should write but I hate to write when I'm in an ugly place.  Essentially, I am fine...just funky!  My executive director is bit much, her management idol being Khengis Khan, and I'm having a difficult time adjusting to her expectations and demands.  Her latest new management technique is a "movement log" so she can know where we are every minute of the day.  I need to tell her, personally, when I go to lunch, though I go at the same time every day, so she will know when I leave (and probably be able to time me to be sure I am only gone an hour!).   I keep wanting to shout..."But I'm a volunteer!!!!"  Anyway, I was editing a report she sent to our national office yesterday and changed her sentence "Sarah is under a two year contract from 2008" to read "Sarah plans to stay for two years from 2008."  I'm sure I will be reprimanded for changing her report but I just couldn't let it stand.  The hardest part for me is that I truly love the programs, though she is such a poor administrator and manager that they are not nearly what they could be.  We have agreed that I will not make any suggestions or give any advice without her requesting it.  A lot of it I put down to her being menopausal and to her jealousy over my relationship with Dineo, the only other employee here, so I am working on compassion for her and her insecurities, but it ain't easy!

In the meantime and through it all, I've been pretty busy.  Photos are attached from our trip to Pretoria with 100 older people.  We were invited by the President's Spousal Office to bring them for a day of activities.  We got two buses together and left the villages early in the morning to arrive there mid-morning on April 25.  Breakfast was waiting and then we were given a tour of the Union Building.  It was a great experience and I discovered that there is an enormous compound on the grounds, including the President's house and many other buildings.  Unfortunately, since the tour was in Setswana, I didn't understand as much as I would have liked, but it was very interesting.  We then departed for the new Freedom Park which has been built on the highest hill in Pretoria.  It is beautiful and a must see for anyone visiting Pretoria.  I didn't even know it was there!  It is still under construction, but the major building and installations have been completed.  I really want to return without a hundred old people to give the grounds justice with a full tour.  We then went back to the Union Building for lunch and presentations.  Mary Jane, Dineo and I all received beautiful coffee table books on South African Crafts commissioned by the president's wife.  We also received a framed "coat of arms" for our office and then everyone received some token gifts, your basic mug and folding chair.

Earlier that week, Dineo and I attended a training on exercise for oldies in Klerksdorp for three days.  We went with our driver, Tebogo, since Dineo is afraid to drive and I am not permitted to drive except on vacation.  Unfortunately, we missed much of the training because Tebogo became quite ill and ended up in the hospital (he is still there).  I was forced to drive us around in the city but I made Dineo drive us home (she couldn't shift, but was ok on the open road).  So, it was a hectic, frantic, couple days as we tried to take care of Tebogo while transporting and supporting the trainer and training.  We managed to carry it off, though, and got back here to Mafikeng late morning on Thursday to repack for Pretoria.  We then left for Pretoria about three.  The best part is that we had a very short work week last week, as Monday, Thursday and Friday were all holidays. 

Over the weekend, a couple of my favorite volunteers, Erin and Megan, came for an overnight.  I will actually be visiting them in their village, Setlegole, on the weekend of the 17th.  Anyway, they are young and have wonderful energy, which they shared with me.  I made a pot of chili and some corn bread and we had a regular feast and then watched a movie they brought.  I can't remember the name (maybe "Across the Universe") but it was basically a music video of the 70s to a Beatles soundtrack.  Talk about flashbacks!  They wanted to watch it with me to get my reaction and then to discuss it with me.  What fun to have someone care!

Back at it.  More later.  And check out the photos of Union Bldg and Freedom Park.

Zindala Zombili

I had the most amazing weekend!  I have no idea how I was lucky enough to learn of the festival since no one I work with was aware of it happening...until they saw a news story on TV after the fact.  However, my friend, Dot, was told about it by her principal and told Wanda and me about it on Friday.  What, you may well ask, is "it".  The Zindala Zombili is an annual national festival of indigenous music, dance and crafts.  This year, it was held here, at the Mmabatho Convention Centre, all last week, culminating in a two day festival of dance on Saturday and Sunday.  Competitions were held across the country during the past year and only the very finest dance groups from all nine provinces (and guest groups from Botswana, Swaziland and Mozambique) performed here.  Every culture was represented by at least two groups.  Most of the cultures have several distinctive dances, for instance, one for maidens, one for warriors, one for old women, etc.  I swear, I saw them all and got photos, too, though the photos could be better since the dances were all performed on a dark stage and I was in the audience. 

I went with Dot and Wanda on Saturday and we were there bright and early only to wait for an hour or so for it to begin.  Since we were the only Whites in the audience, we were asked if we would like VIP seating and Wanda accepted immediately.  It embarrasses me to be singled out, but I guess we would stick out like sore thumbs...our tufts of white hair in the midst of all that black hair.  It was lovely, however, to sit at the front and be able to take the photos at will.  On Sunday, I went alone (with my VIP pass in hand), an hour later, and it started pretty much as I got there.  This time, I was the only White person there.  I was talking to several people at lunch and we noted that this is truly still two countries.  I was told that White people aren't interested.  They have no idea what they are missing, then, as I am still floating on a cloud of joy.  It was truly wonderful.  I've included some photos of the dancers.  Enjoy! 

After the Convent

Sorry about the title, but I can't think of anything else to call the past three weeks.  Much has been the same old same old and bits have been fun or, at least, different from the everyday. 

Anyway, I was home for a week before taking off again for Pretoria and then on to training outside Mokopane (in Limpopo, about two-thirds of the way north of Pretoria toward Polokwane).  The new volunteers had just returned from their "site-visits", their introduction to their new homes and jobs for the next two years.  It is always an emotional time because, no matter how many times one is told to put away any expectations, one always has expectations and they are almost never met.  Mine was to be in the middle of the bush, testing myself daily to see how little I could live with/on.  I ended up in a flat in a city.  Others want what I have and end up in the bush.  It's like everything else, one always wants what another has.  Anyway, it was the same this time.  I was there to debrief the older volunteers, several of whom were quite content and the others who weren't.  Adapting is more difficult for some than for others but, I must say, I sometimes wonder why some of the volunteers came here if they wanted/expected it to be like home.  It's the differences that I enjoy, that constantly remind me that I not at home.  Sometimes the differences become the norm and then I need to wake up and notice what's around me and how interesting it is.  This is a different world, though many of the day to day trappings can allow one to forget it.  This county is going through a massive change that is disrupting every aspect of life and it is/can be tumultuous.  It's also interesting to me just how aware of and involved in the other countries on the continent South Africans are.  At home, we are barely aware of Canada; here Zimbabwe is the biggest news story on the air, consuming at least half of each newscast.  (There is very little news of Europe or the U.S., unless it involves soccer, rugby, or golf.)  OK, so I'm rambling again.

My trips to Pretoria and back by taxi (of course) were pretty wonderful.  The trip out, though with a hung-over driver, was glorious.  The road was lined with waist-high cosmos, white and purple and pinkish purple, both sides, nearly all the way to Pretoria.  It was like the road to heaven and I thought, well if this is it, what a way to go!  Truly glorious and I was filled with the beauty of the ride and the countryside.  Unfortunately, we have had so much rain this summer that field after field of maize (corn) and sunflowers were dead and rotten.  But the flowers!!! They more than made up for the devastation.  On the way home, our taxi broke down about 40k from Mafikeng and we spent about an hour in a field watching the sun set!  It was spectacular.  And, I was able to observe how the taxi drivers look out for each other.  The new taxi came and picked up the passengers and we followed the broken down taxi all the way home.  It stopped every couple thousand meters and we stopped behind it and our driver got out to see if the other taxi could go on.  It really touched me and I was thrilled to see the concern and caring.  As one deals with the day to day rudeness of people here, it is easy to forget the spirit of Ubuntu and it was good to see it in action.

Which reminds me, as I ramble on, of an article I read in the Sunday paper written by a South African who had just returned from a week in New York.  The article was about the rudeness of Americans and her perception of American's sense of superiority and how wonderful South Africans are.  Interesting, interesting perspective.

Back to news.  I was only at the training site for a day because I was very allergic to the house where we stayed.  It was pretty funny, we couldn't get a key to the door, so we climbed through the windows the entire time we were there.  The village was gorgeous, surrounded by mountains...and mines!  So much of this country is sustained by mining.  Unfortunately, mines create slag heaps, which are not such beautiful man-made mountains of waste.  The cost of "progress".  I was able to get back to Pretoria early Wednesday morning and get in to see the eye surgeon within two hours.  The additional laser surgical procedure has now been done on my eye and I can move on till it's time for the other eye.  So I was able to come back home Wednesday rather than Saturday, as I had planned.  Since I was on leave through the weekend, I gave myself the time to recoup and re-center.  It was great...I have been following Eckhart Tolle's class on-line on his book "The New Earth" and I was able to reread the book and view the classes again.  In addition, I finally got fed up with myself and my laziness and started back at yoga, meditation and an exercise regimen.  We'll see how long it lasts.

This past week has been spent preparing a Power Point presentation on the Older Persons Act.  You may remember (I vaguely do) that my first assignment for Age-in-Action was to attend a week-long workshop on the the Act.  About time to pull together my notes and make something of them.  The presentation is prepared and now the classes we are presenting have been postponed, again, until May.  Next week, I am preparing a presentation on parenting.  I want to add a section on talking about sexuality with children/adolescents but have a bit of research to do since it wasn't included in the workshop I attended.  How in the world it could not be included in a parenting course with 30% of a population infected with a sexually transmitted disease, I don't know.  However, I do understand why it isn't tackled because the grannies just don't talk about sex...to anyone, ever!

I went of Fochville, near Jo-burg, with Dineo this week to help with an economic empowerment program.  The three senior clubs there have created a food co-op, a pillow making concern and a micro-loan sort-of credit union.  They are very active and a great group of older folk.  As I've mentioned before, there are many taxi accidents here and many lives lost every year.  One of the grannies was the sole survivor of an accident that took 17 lives.  She was originally pronounced dead also, but made it through.  Seven years later, she is just coming out of her post-traumatic funk.  Great lady and I thoroughly enjoyed talking with her.

Tomorrow, I plan to attend a cultural weekend at the convention center with Wanda and Dot, fellow volunteers.  Will let you know how it goes.

A great week in a convent

I've only been home for four days out of the past two weeks so, boy, do I enjoy being here.  The first week of March, I spent three days in Pretoria, ostensibly to get my pre-extension physical.  Went to the optometrist because my "Progressive" lenses weren't getting dark enough, and discovered that I need follow up laser surgery on my left eye.  Of course, the entire opthomology practice was closed for two weeks for a workshop and vacation, so I'll go back in a couple weeks to get it done.  I then saw our physician who checked all the regulations and discovered that the exam couldn't really be done until two months before my original close of service date (Sept. 21, 2008).  We canceled all the other appts., and I helped in the Peace Corps office on Tuesday and went back to Mafikeng Wednesday, which takes all day.  In a private car, it takes about three hours.  I went to the taxi rank at 8:00AM and got home at 3:30PM.  As I've mentioned before, it's the wait for the taxi to fill that takes so long.  I'm getting really good at just sitting quietly and waiting.

While I was at the Peace Corps office I got a call from AIA requesting my passport number and DOB so they could complete my airline reservations - the first I heard about going anywhere.  Unfortunately, I was too busy at the time to ask any questions, so when I got back to the AIA office on Thursday, I asked and learned I would be going to Johannesburg (Joburg) for a week-long workshop on parenting.  It was a "Train the Trainers" workshop in parenting for grannies.  I wasn't thrilled as I had just gotten home, but mine is not to question why....

Monday morning, I was picked up and taken to the airport here, flew to Joburg and was picked up at the airport and driven to the site of the workshop, a former convent called Koinonia.  It is now a conference center run by four Dominican nuns in their 70s.  At first blush, I was a bit dismayed as my room was like a cell with two twin beds and a roommate.  There were no amenities at all in the rooms.  It looked like it would be a very long week.  In fact, we were asked Monday morning at the initial session to describe our emotion; mine was resignation.  I had to be there, so I was there.  And, I was dreading five days of early rising followed by eight hours of workshop.

This internet connection thing makes me crazy: it is much better than nothing, but it keeps disconnecting and then, reconnecting and I lose whatever I've written since the last save.  I lost quite a bit this time.  Must remember to save more frequently.

Anyway, to try to reconstruct what I was saying...it was maybe the best week I've had since I got here.  My roommate was easy, the food was marvelous, the center was serene beyond belief.  I got to know the nuns and enjoyed them thoroughly; in fact, I became the intermediary between the group and the nuns as everyone else was scared of them.  So many here attended boarding schools and I think they all reentered that space.  The grounds, including a marvelous garden (groomed enough and yet wild enough to fill me up), were lovely.  There was also a perfect little chapel where I hid out to meditate and just get away.  Our sessions ran from 9:00AM to 4:30PM with a half-hour lunch and I was dreading the exhaustion.  Wonder of wonders, I didn't even get tired!  There's something about having your days all mapped out for you and just following your schedule that is very relaxing.  It helped, too, that I am post-parenting so the workshop was totally without stress for me.  I can remember few times when I have felt so serene and happy.  Even so, I was so happy to get home last night.  Again, I was picked up and taken to the airport and there was a ride waiting for me at the Mmabatho airport.  Traveling here is usually such a chore that the ease of it all helped make it so great.

This morning, my friend, Dot, came over and we finalized our plans and confirmed our trip to Victoria Falls, Chobe National Park and Okavango Delta in Botswana, and then Kruger Park in eastern South Africa for late June and early July.  We will fly to Victoria Falls and then take ten days to camp our way home.  Dot is an old camper and has promised to help me set up and take down our tent, so I am ready, though I could count on one finger the times I've been camping.  What an adventure it will be.  We are both really excited about it.  It is during the time when I would be in the Close of Service workshop if I were not extending!  Yeah!  A meeting I don't have to attend!

Disappointment, disillusionment, acceptance, excitement!

Things change, time moves on, choices are adjusted...  I have discovered, much to my chagrin, that the executive director here has a few problems.  Her primary management tools seem to be belittlement and public humiliation.  I've been around long enough to know why she is as she is, I'm just not sure that I want to deal with it for two years.  This is, after all, my retirement and I do want to enjoy it!  What is clouding the issue is that I love the programs here.  A sample includes an economic empowerment program which sets up coops and teaches how to manage them, basic education, childcare for grannies, HIV/AIDS training for grannies, exercise programs, frail care, the list goes on in like manner.  In addition, we provide many beneficial programs throughout the year which get the grannies out and about and are fun.

Exacerbating the situation is a very controlling head office in Cape Town.  They want to know every movement by anyone in the office, much like Peace Corps' expectations of me.  It feels very big corporation, which has always been uncomfortable for me.  It is so different from my experience at LifeLine; aside from both having offices, faxes, DSL lines, etc., there is not much the experiences have in common.  I also like being so busy and I like my co-workers.  So, no immediate change in the offing, I just need to think about whether I want to extend here or go to another country for a couple years.

The paragraphs above were written several weeks ago, but I didn't want to send them out because they seemed so negative.  As I now read them, especially after deciding to stay at Age-in-Action (AIA), they don't sound negative at all, just descriptive of my attitude at the time.  It was a great surprise to me to discover that all was not well in the office; the ex. dir. is a micro-manager and is aggressively demanding and authoritative.  The three employees spend most of their time complaining and looking for other jobs.  I thought I had left that behind but it seems to be endemic to NGOs here; they just can't pay what government jobs pay and are generally looked at as stepping stones to a government job.  I also discovered that old ladies can be bitchy and demanding and not always (rarely) appreciative of what has been done, but rather wondering what you can do for them now.  A real microcosm of real life.  So, I decided that I wouldn't put up with it and would look elsewhere for the ideal situation.

Thank god I'm finally growing up!  This is exactly where I need to be to learn what I need to learn, part of which is to stay and learn it.  I look forward to going to other postings later after I finish here.  Sometimes I worry that my health won't hold up so I need to do everything NOW!  But, if my health fails, then I will have new concerns and I'll deal with them.

By the way, I had already written pages and pages about the last couple weeks, went to print them, and lost them.  So this is my second writing and, as such, won't be nearly as detailed or good.  Sorry!  I'm now saving after every paragraph though because there is no way I'm writing this three times.

I've been very busy schlepping along with Mary Jane, the ex dir, to meetings and trainings throughout the province.  Even have some new stars on my map!  Since they are all in Setswana, it can get a bit boring after the first couple hours but my presence is making an impact.  Most of the old people come up to me following the meeting/training to chat; nearly all have at least a little English; certainly more English than I have Tswana!  They are seeing me and getting accustomed to my being a part of AIA.  Many already know me from marches against Elder Abuse and my attendance at various functions, but this way even more will know me and associate me with AIA...all to the good.  I still don't know what form my assistance of the organization will take and am just allowing it to unfold.  What I do know is that I will be working with Mary Jane on learning to let go (I'm teaching her the Serenity Prayer) and will be showing her ways to let go of stress.  I also told her that I will work with her  as her partner, rather than as her subordinate.  Heaven knows management is not my forte but, those that can't, teach!  In addition, I told her that I am not good with direct orders, though I am very accommodating with requests.  She listened and heard me and, yesterday, was asking me to help with various projects rather than throwing them on my desk and telling me to do them.  We'll see if it lasts but I'm not above reminding her!  The other employees, who are too frightened of her to speak out, have also noticed a difference in her attitude.  Perhaps that will be my legacy.

Last weekend, I had seven volunteers sleeping on my floor on Friday night and three on Saturday.  They were all kids and it was great fun.  They come in, cook, clean and talk.  It is such a totally different energy from my old gal friends and I love it!  They've all promised to come frequently, though I've asked for my usual every other weekend off.  Also, my friend, Wanda (whom I helped place in Tsetse) is back.  Her housing fell through at the beginning of the month and she stayed with me for about a week and has been in Pretoria for the rest of the month waiting for her ex dir to find housing.  After all this time, she will be staying in an out-building on his property!  All supervisors are told that Peace Corps does not want volunteers living in their homes so he hadn't even considered it.  But the Safety and Security officer from Peace Corps had been out here looking at various options, all of which were unacceptable, when he saw the space and suggested it.  I will see Wanda for lunch tomorrow and am interested to hear how she is doing.

I was to go to Pretoria this morning to talk to the country director about my situation and what would be required to go to another posting but decided I'd rather stay here for the weekend than go in just to talk with him and then spend the weekend in a hostel there.  Originally, I thought I also had a medical appt. today, but they are all on Monday and Tuesday so I'll wait and take a taxi on Sunday.  Hopefully, one will fill up...Sunday morning is not a popular time to go from Mafikeng to Pretoria!  I have to go through a full medical/dental exam in order to extend my stay, it all has to be done before mid-March and, since I have to be in the AIA office the second week of March, I wasn't left with much choice.  Thursday and Friday next week, AIA's national audit is being held and I want to be here to meet the staff from Cape Town. The story of my life here; nothing to do and then busy as hell!

I've added some photos from my time in Taung, where Mary Jane presented a training in economic empowerment and I sat and pretended like I understood Setswana.  The highlight for me was spending time with an old training buddy, Brad, and his mom who was visiting from Yakima.  We went out to dinner at the home of one of his co-workers and were treated like royalty.  It was great fun.

I've again had to rewrite a couple paragraphs, I'm frustrated and I'm calling it quits.  Goodnight!!!

A real "job"!

There is not really so much to say, but it has been awhile and it seems right to bring everyone up to date.  I went to the workshop and it was intense.  We were at it 10 hours a day for four days, though we did get off early on Friday.  Unfortunately, my ride was two hours late so I still didn't get home until late Friday.  As usual, I loved being home but had appreciated the opportunity to learn about the new act.  Unfortunately, it hasn't been implemented yet and won't be until all the regulations have been formulated.  After that, they need to be discussed and approved by several levels of government.  Even then, there are not adequate resources, human or financial, to implement it.  As I was reminded, though, by the facilitator, it is a start.

Last week was even more difficult.  AIA's executive director, Mary Jane, was on leave and I was in the office with her second in command, Dineo.  It felt as if they had talked and that I was to be another employee, though a free one.  I was told that I needed to sign in and out in a very precise way, that I had a defined lunch hour, defined work hours, etc., etc.  In addition, because they don't have a receptionist or P.A. for Mary Jane right now, it has become my job.  In fact, I was even told by Dineo that it was my responsibility to find my replacement before I could go into the field!  Hardly.  Fortunately, the Peace Corps came along at just the right time and explained how it all works to Mary Jane.  When they sat down together, MJ told the PC rep that I would be required to sign a two year contract, laying out the terms of my "employment", my hours, including lunch, etc. etc. etc.  Dear Brioni, the gal from PC told her that all contracts were between the Peace Corps and the NGO and that volunteers don't sign contracts of any sort.  They talked a bit about what a volunteer is and how it works.  It got a bit better after that, though Dineo did tell me yesterday when I had to leave early, that she might have to discipline me.  I told her better people than her have tried and decided it wasn't really worth it.  Interesting, interesting.  The best part is that, with Mary Jane finally in the office, I've been busier than since I got to South Africa.  She and I are going to Taung, Klerksdorp and Potchefstroom the next three days.  I will be schlepping along with either she or Dineo for the next two months until I get a feel for things and will then be on my own to call on or set up service clubs and co-ops out in the boonies.  They even got a driver for me since Peace Corps volunteers can't drive except when on annual leave.

To complicate things last week, I had another volunteer living with me until this morning.  Her housing had fallen though and so she stayed with me while her NGO found alternative housing.  Unfortunately, they didn't, so this morning I took her to the taxi rank to go to Pretoria headquarters.  I text messaged her a minute ago to see if she got off and she said they called at the last minute and asked her not to go.  So she is sitting at a restaurant waiting for them to come get her and take her to her new home.  Of course, she was sitting at my house for a full week waiting for the same thing, so we'll see what happens.  Bottom line for me is that I am so happy to have my space and solitude back.  My god, I am such a recluse!

I managed to cancel out of all my commitments to the Peace Corps for the next couple months so that I can concentrate on getting up to speed at Age in Action.  It sounds wonderful to me.  It feels like I've been on the go or had company for so long.  It will be good to get back into a routine, boring as it may be.

Age in Action already!

I wasn't scheduled to start with Age in Action until Friday, Feb. 1, but I will be starting tomorrow.  Our (see, already I'm part of the organization!) executive director, Mary Jane, is on leave and asked me to fill in for her at a "Train the Trainers" workshop being given over the next four days in Rustenburg.  It is being sponsored by the Department of Social Development to disseminate information about the new "Older Persons Act".  I am sooooo excited I can barely contain myself.

Today was my final day at LifeLine and no one even said goodbye.  They figure I'll still be around so why get excited.  I hope I never have to go back.  The difference between my treatment at the two organizations is the size of the Grand Canyon!  I'm trying very hard to not be bitter about it, but it has been a big waste of my time.  But....I was able to find Age in Action and to volunteer there weekly and to put myself into the position to move over, so it wasn't all bad.  I sure won't miss it, though.

I can hardly wait to work with the old women.  Guess it's just where I belong! YEAH!!!!